The Difference Between Repentance and Remorse

As Christians it is very important that we don’t confuse remorse with repentance. While both words lead to sorrow, remorse leads to worldly sorrow while godly sorrow leads to repentance. Not only that but there are eternal implications since remorse produces hopelessness, defeat, despair, and sadly eventually death while repentance produces deliverance, freedom, and salvation. (2 Corinthians 7:10) sums up this thought well when it says: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”  

Now don’t get me wrong, remorse is the beginning step towards repentance but true repentance involves a turning away from our behavior or sin. It is a total change of heart and involves grief towards God because of our sin. Remorse on the other hand deals with our guilt, which we want to get rid of, as well as the negative consequences of getting caught for wrongdoing.

There are two classic cases in Scripture that I believe show why remorse is so different from repentance. The first case can be found in (Matthew 27:3-5): where we read: “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. ‘I have sinned,’ he said, ‘for I have betrayed innocent blood.’ ‘What is that to us?’ they replied. ‘That’s your responsibility.’ So, Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.” In this case we see that Judas was filled with remorse, but instead of truly repenting and experiencing the wonderful freedom in Christ, his remorse only led to horrible guilt and suicide.

The second incident involves Esau, the brother of Jacob found in the Old Testament. (Hebrews 12:14-17) tells us: “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.”

In this case we see that remorse manifested itself in the strong emotion of tears, but again Esau never repented so there was no change of heart. We see here that remorse only brings on worldly emotional sorrow which leads to being sad, hopeless, and unchanged. I believe if Esau truly repented, while he still may not have inherited the blessing, he would have received real freedom and joy in knowing that he had made his peace with God.

In both these cases remorse led to despair. If only Judas and Esau had repented they could have experienced deliverance, freedom, and salvation. You see godly sorrow leads to more than tears. It produces repentance, which leads to life and not death, joy and not despair, and victory not defeat.

Both Judas and Esau were more sorrowful for themselves than for their disappointing God. And that’s what worldly sorrow does, it is more concerned with you and your feelings than with that of God and His glory. So, the next time you sin against God don’t just feel sorrow but repent and experience the wonderful freedom that it produces!