Christianity has a unique and wonderful understanding of what forgiveness should look like. To people in the world the Christian command to forgive those who either harm or slander us seems foolish and downright impossible. However, may I submit to you that when we truly forgive those who hurt us we are not only being obedient to the commands of Jesus but we are making the wisest and healthiest decision we can ever make.
First, we as Christians understand that when Jesus tells us to forgive both our friends and enemies it must be not only for our good, since all of God’s commands are for our ultimate good, but it also brings Jesus glory – which is the ultimate blessing we can receive as a child of God. Forgiveness is a command of God and when we obey, God uses us as instruments to bring Him glory – which is guaranteed to bring joy to our hearts.
Second, we as Christians understand what real forgiveness is and is not. For example, forgiveness doesn’t mean we have to trust the individual that has wronged us. For forgiveness is freely given while trust has to be earned. Forgiveness also doesn’t mean that the person who offended us won’t have to suffer some negative consequences. And if that individual doesn’t apologize and make it right with us they will ultimately have to answer to God. Finally forgiveness is an act of the will and our will can override our feelings, which often will shout no to forgiving those who hurt us.
And third, contrary to what the world thinks, when you forgive someone who has harmed you, you are the one who often gets the healing! Philip Yancey, in one of the most insightful quotes on the power of forgiveness, shared the following: “Lewis Smedes points out, ‘The first and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness. . . . When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.’”1
My friends, if we don’t forgive we will often begin to harbor thoughts of bitterness, anger, and revenge toward the person who offended us. This in turn will effect our mental as well as our physical state, cause our prayer life to be less effective, and disappoint our heavenly Father by being disobedient to his command to forgive. And what do we gain by not practicing forgiveness – a big fat zero! So why be a prisoner when you can be free? God loves you and wants to conform you more to the image of Jesus. And forgiveness is just one way we can manifest the heart of God.
Remember God has forgiven you a lifetime of sins. I believe out of gratitude the least we can do is obey God and practice forgiveness. And who knows how God will use this act of obedience in the life of your offender. It just may plant a seed in their heart and give them a glimpse of what the gospel is all about. And may I go one step further. Why not pray for your offender and thus fulfill one of the wonderful commands from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount – for we read in (Matthew 5:44): “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”