The date was October 12, 1981 and I went to bed around 11PM. I couldn’t sleep because of all the things that were swirling around in my head. At age 28 I was already a successful New York City banker, but I had no real purpose to my life. During the previous 12 months of my life I had embarked on an aggressive reading campaign to try to find what the purpose of life was. At the beginning of this quest I didn’t believe there was a God and as a result I just thought that I was an evolutionary accident who was given 70 or 80 years to find out if indeed there was actually a purpose to my existence.
During this search for meaning, I read books on Eastern mysticism, transcendental meditation, Silva Mind Control, and even went to a Buddhist monastery in Manhattan, New York City, all in an attempt to find out where true meaning might lie. After all of this reading and searching, I had more questions about what the purpose of life was than when I started my quest.
Whether it was providential or the result of people praying for me, a friend of mine in early 1981 invited me to his church in Staten Island, New York City. At this time I had never been to a church, being born Jewish, but I said sure I would go. It was a Friday night service and after the service I can remember someone coming up to me and telling me about this Jesus, who he said could change my life, give me the meaning I was searching for, and even promise me eternal life. Well, I didn’t think much of what he had to say and traveled back to my friend’s house. I stayed over that Friday night and in the morning the turning point of my life came about.
For you see it was then that my friend gave me a copy of the New Testament and told me to read it. I had never read the Bible but I thought why not. I read it like a book and in a week I finished the entire New Testament. And what was my biggest takeaway? Well, the New Testament spoke about the fact that I was a sinner and that I needed a savior – Jesus Christ – to save me from eternal death. I had never heard this before and for the next six months I started to get interested in Christianity.
Here I was an atheist going to the Christian book store to find out more about what I thought was a new philosophy at the time. I bought the entire Bible and read it. I bought some books on creation/evolution, and a few other books on Christianity. And the more I read the more I became enthralled by the person of Jesus Christ.
Fast forward now to that special day, October 12, 1981. By this time I understood who Jesus was and that I was indeed a sinner. I can remember it was about 10PM that night and I was giving a friend of mine, who lived in New Jersey, some worldly advice on some subject that I can’t even remember.
Well, after the conversation I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about Jesus and the fact that I was a sinner who had no real purpose in life. It was after about 15 minutes of wrestling with God that I finally realized that I was indeed a sinner in desperate need of Jesus. Well, at about 11:15PM that night I got out of bed, got on my knees and invited Jesus into my heart.
It was a simple transaction. I told God that I was indeed a sinner and was sorry for my lifetime of sin and that I wanted His son, Jesus, to come into my heart – accepting Him as my God and Savior. I knew very little about Jesus, the Bible, and Christianity at that time, but I knew I was saved and wanted to follow Jesus and obey His commands and teachings.
It is now 42+ years later, after that special day in October, and the one thing I now realize from that momentous night was how simple the gospel message really is. I like how Albert Barnes put it: “It does not require great learning to be a Christian and be convinced of the truth of the Bible. It requires only an honest heart and a willingness to obey God.”1
Thank you again for your testimony. I first heard you on Moody Radio program, The Land and the Book.
I just want to say how much I enjoy your devotionals. I save them and sometimes go back to them.
You are indeed impacting others for the Lord. I sometimes forward your devotionals to someone going through a difficult time.
I can’t thank you enough for this ministry, it is encouraging. I hope you keep writing for a long time. Thank you!!!
Thanks for sharing this. Everyone has a story, and it is always inspiring to hear how folks are touched by the Holy Spirit.